From Help to Hope to Survival
On Dec. 13th, 2013 I went in for a diagnostic mammo due to a history of fibrous cysts and recent pain and problems with my breasts, as well as just overall general decline of my health in the past few months. Well I knew I was in trouble when they immediately wanted to do the ultrasound and shuffled me off to another room. When the tech wanted to get the Dr after she did her initial ultrasound, I definitely was in a panic. Well the Dr. proceeded to do her exam and when she was finished she sat me up and point blank told me I had calcifications behind both nipples and masses in both breasts and she stated it was cancer.... Not that she "thinks" or "feels" it was cancer, but the definite real deal and she wanted me to be biopsied immediately to find out what stage and type and how we needed to proceed with treatment. Well needless to say the last few weeks have been a blur and a nightmare I can't seem to wake up from. I have been biopsied and confirmed the day after xmas that I have Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with Lobular Features Stage 1. But I am diabetic and my immune system is taxed due to major stress. Since my diagnosis I hae had my daughter in the hospital with a life threatening issue and also had to make an emergency trip to California right before New Years and watched my father pass away. I have had no time to think about my future, or mourn my father or just to even breathe. I am at a complete loss of how to regain some sort of peaceful moments to process what I need to process and make my choices. I met with my surgeon today and am planning on a double mastectomy but she is concerned for my ability to heal due to the constant stress that is being thrown in front of me daily due to job issues that put me at risk to lose not only my job but my home as well... I am obviously venting because I have to , but I am also seeking guidance form others who have made this journey on how to set my boundaries and make sure I am taking care of myself. I am so used to doing for others and always being on the go, but I am tapped and now in fear of losing my security of job and home while I wage this war with this monster. Can anyone offer some suggestions on how to speak up for what I need without causing more stress for myself?